But couples who do pray together report stronger marriages, deeper emotional connection, and a greater ability to navigate conflict. It makes sense: when you’re both talking to God together, you’re aligning your hearts in the same direction. That alignment changes everything.
Why It Feels So Awkward
Let’s name the elephant in the room. Praying with your spouse feels different from praying alone because it requires a level of vulnerability that even married people resist:
- You’re exposing your inner life to someone who sees you at your worst
- You might feel judged for how you pray—or don’t pray
- One spouse may feel more “spiritual” than the other, creating pressure
- Prayer can surface emotions and conflicts you’ve been avoiding
- It feels performative when you’re not used to it
All of this is normal. The awkwardness doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re doing something real. Lean into it.
“Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.”
Start Embarrassingly Small
The number one reason couples fail at praying together is that they start too big. Don’t aim for a 30-minute prayer session on your first try. Aim for 30 seconds. Seriously. Hold hands, say one sentence each, and say amen. That’s it. You can build from there.
- Week 1: Hold hands before bed. One person says a one-sentence prayer. The other says amen.
- Week 2: Both share one sentence each—something you’re thankful for or something you need.
- Week 3: Take turns praying two or three sentences. Still short. Still simple.
- Week 4: Try a brief conversational prayer—passing the prayer back and forth like a conversation.
The goal is consistency, not length. A faithful 30-second prayer every night for a year will transform your marriage more than an ambitious 20-minute session you abandon after a week.
When One Spouse Isn’t Into It
This is one of the most common struggles. One spouse is eager to pray together; the other is reluctant. If that’s your situation, resist the urge to guilt or pressure your partner. Forced prayer kills intimacy rather than building it.
Instead, make it easy. Offer to pray for them—not with them—at first. Ask, “Is there anything I can pray for you about this week?” Then pray silently or on your own. Over time, as they see your sincerity without pressure, the door may open naturally. Pray for that door—and be patient.
Praying Through Conflict
One of the most powerful things you can do in the middle of a marital argument is stop and pray together. Not pray at each other—“Lord, help my spouse see how wrong they are”—but genuinely ask God to help you both. This is incredibly hard in the moment. But it’s almost impossible to stay furious at someone while you’re both on your knees asking God for help.
How to Pray as a Couple
More frameworks and methods for building prayer into your relationship.
How to Pray for Your Marriage
Specific prayers for the health, protection, and growth of your marriage.
Challenge: Tonight, ask your spouse, “Can I pray one sentence over us before we sleep?” Don’t make it a big deal. Just do it. See what happens over seven days.